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| If
you are the one who needs to quit: |
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If
you are the one who needs a break up,
first of all ask yourself how serious
you are concerning the relationship.
If you are serious about the relationship
and loves your significant other deeply,
give yourself ample time for thinking
before jumping into conclusions and
decisions. If you were taking the whole
relationship as a time pass, it may
be unavoidable that you quit.
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Analyze
the relationship & your lover before taking
the decision: |
| Why
do you want to quit? |
Fights: |
However strong the relationship
be, fights are an unavoidable part
of marriages and love. You might
feel at the moment of breakup that
all that you had in the relationship
were fights. Give some time for
clear thinking. How about the good
times you had together? If your
partner doesn’t seem to be
aware about the emotional damage
caused to you during the fights,
don’t hesitate to have an
open talk about it.
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Incompatibility:
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There are plenty of couples who are
incompatible in many aspects but have
their greatest time when they are
together. But they do fight a lot.
There are many compatible people who
live a sleepy relationship for decades.
The reason can be lack of common interests
even when their characters go hand-in
hand. The relationship may be just
missing that spark. There is nothing
like total compatibility in any relationship.
Everyone makes adjustments and sacrifices
for keeping the relationship going.
If you are a kind of person who simply
wants to get the perfect fit, and
doesn’t want to bother adjusting
or sacrificing much, break up is the
only choice that lies ahead.
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Use your own brain:
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There can be situations when relationships
however wonderful they may be, happens
to face the toughest fights imaginable.
It may be at such a point that you
reached the decision of a breakup.
Don’t jump into decisions when
you are agitated. Take a couple of
days to cool down and then use your
brain to evaluate the person, and
the relationship. If you want a second
opinion, rely on a true and mature
friend who would give unbiased opinion
(who has no hidden motives).
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Beware
of Biased opinions:
A biased person can be your parent, a jealous
friend or anyone who would simply want the
relationship to end, due to a number of
hidden reasons that they wouldn’t
like to disclose. They might shower you
with huge amount of trust, love and freedom.
That itself acts as a hidden trap since
they know that your conscience wouldn’t
let you disappoint them again.
Achieving anything great
in life demands great risk. There might be
barriers like caste, religion, family prestige
etc that needs to be sacrificed. This is the
point where you will have to make a choice.
You want to spend a life time with a person
your heart desires? Or you would opt for a
risk free alternative that your parents chooses?
Lesser risk simply means lesser reward. And
of course love is not for the weak- at heart.
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| (who
said risk free? Most of the marriages that happens
in non-western countries are still arranged
by parents considering all astrological compatibility
and all. But the divorce graph is simply on
the rise. Why?) |
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If
after giving proper weightage to various factors,
you decide to break up, these are the guidelines
you can follow: |
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Respect his/her right to know: |
Express your concerns regarding the
relationship and the reason why you
took this decision. Talk to him/her
looking right into their face. If
you can’t talk in person, go
for a phone call. But its best that
you do it in person. If your partner
has a higher chance of bursting out,
then it is better that you introduce
the matter through a letter and then
discuss about it after a few days
for him/her to cool off. Express all
the reasons that make you feel you
want to break up. Even if the case
is like you were simply not serious
about the affair, expressing it directly
can help your partner get out of the
break up pain pretty soon. Refraining
from communicating only makes the
other person desperate, keep false
hopes or reach conclusions that might
prove to be harmful in the long run.
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Be as frank as you can: |
Even if what you say to your partner
might spoil your image in his/her
heart, tell the whole truth. Truths
might make him/her dislike you, but
it helps their heart to heal a lot
sooner.
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Lend an ear to listen: |
Let
your lover express what they have to say.
Open your heart and try to see things from
their perspective too. |
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Give
space for corrections:
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Realize
the fact that everybody learns from mistakes.
Now it may be him. Tomorrow it may be you.
Understand that a person can truly learn from
mistakes and change if he/she sincerely wants
to. Give him/her a chance for that if you
are truly in love. |
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Try to break up with mutual understanding: |
Breaking
up with mutual understanding always helps
for faster healing. It avoids the feeling
of guilt from clinging on to you and the pain
of getting ditched from your partner’s
heart. It is a safer and more grown up way
of breaking up from relationships. |
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| Love
Break up Recovery / Survival advices & guide |
